What’s Really Driving Your Choices

Most people think change starts with knowing what to do.

So when weight loss is the goal, attention goes straight to food.
Meals. Snacks. Portions. Timing. The bits you can see.

And sometimes that works.
At least for a while.

But it often feels effortful. Like you’re pushing against something. And eventually people get tired. They stop. Or they start again. Or they decide the problem must be them.

What usually isn’t noticed is this:

Your experience of eating isn’t coming from food.
It isn’t coming from circumstances.
It’s being created, moment by moment, from the inside out.

It’s just how the human system works.

Thought is constantly flowing through us. And every thought comes packaged with a feeling. Those feelings don’t announce themselves as “thought-created”. They feel real. Compelling. Personal.

So when eating feels urgent or charged or confusing, it looks like the food is doing that. Or temptation is doing that. Or lack of discipline is doing that.

But it isn’t.

It’s the feeling state created by thinking in that moment.

That’s why focusing only on behaviour leads to self-monitoring and self-correction. You end up trying to manage outcomes without noticing what’s creating the experience in the first place.

It’s exhausting because it’s backwards.

The thoughts that show up
“I deserve this.”
“But it tastes so good.”
“I’ll start again tomorrow.”

They shape how the moment looks and feels. And behaviour simply follows what makes sense in that state of mind.

When you see this for yourself, you stop taking every thought so seriously.

As that pressure eases, common sense returns.

The shift isn’t about controlling what’s on the plate.
It’s about noticing what’s happening before the fork ever lifts.

And when that’s seen clearly, behaviour changes without effort.

The kind of change that lasts.