Are You Waiting for the Right Time?
(An ode to the noble procrastinator inside us all)
Are you... waiting?
Waiting for the cosmos to align?
For Mercury to finish breakdancing in retrograde?
For the last kid to move out, the inbox to hit zero or for motivation to arrive dressed as Ryan Gosling on a unicorn holding kale?
Because newsflash, my friend:
That ship has not only sailed, it’s capsized under the weight of your excuses and is now being colonised by sea turtles and regret.
The Myth of the “Right Time”
Let’s be real.
You say you’re “waiting for the right time” like it’s a mystical delivery due between 10am and 3pm (please sign here and show ID).
But spoiler alert:
The ‘right time’ is a unicorn wrapped in a doona made of fairy dust and lies.
It doesn’t exist.
You’re not waiting for time.
You’re waiting for comfort.
You’re waiting for easy.
You’re waiting to not feel overwhelmed, while actively ignoring the fact that you’re already overwhelmed anyway.
So I ask you, with all the warmth and sass I can muster…
What, exactly, are you waiting for?
A sign?
An emergency?
A doctor's note written in blood?
“I’m Too Busy,” You Say
Oh yes, the Holy Grail of Cop-Outs.
You’re too busy to care for yourself?
Too busy to move your body, nourish your soul, drink some bloody water?
Too busy to pause for long enough to question the chaos you’ve normalised?
You wear burnout like a tiara.
You martyr yourself to the calendar gods.
You cancel your own well-being like it’s a dodgy reality show.
And for what?
Approval? Productivity?
A gold star from capitalism?
Darling, no.
You don’t win a medal for self-neglect.
Let’s Get One Thing Straight
You—yes, you—deserve better.
You deserve:
✨ A body that feels like a friend, not a battlefield.
✨ Energy that lasts past 3pm without a caffeine IV.
✨ Thoughts that lift you, not chew you up and spit you into a shame spiral.
✨ Joy. Peace. Play. Pleasure.
✨ A life that feels like yours, not some beige committee-approved existence.
And here’s the kicker:
Only YOU can give that to you.
Not me. Not your partner. Not your kale dealer.
YOU.
The Myth of the Grand Gesture
You think change has to be huge.
Dramatic.
Instagrammable.
But actually?
It’s that tiny, awkward, barely noticeable thing you do today that your future self will be high-fiving you for tomorrow.
You don’t need to run a marathon.
You just need to put on your shoes.
Maybe walk around the block like a glorious sweaty legend.
Maybe choose water over wine just once.
Maybe whisper,
“Hey body… I see you,”
instead of pinching your stomach and cursing the mirror.
That is enough for today.
You’re Not Lazy, You’re Just Terrified
And that’s okay.
Change is scary.
Because deep down, you know it matters.
You know you’re capable of more.
You know that if you start taking care of yourself,
you might just become someone you actually like.
And that… is terrifying.
Because liking yourself comes with responsibility.
With boundaries.
With saying “no” to other people’s drama
and “yes” to your own damn needs.
But do it anyway.
So... What Now?
What would you like to give yourself today that the future version of you will throw a confetti cannon over?
Not next Monday.
Not January 1st.
Not “after this project wraps.”
Now.
Today.
This moment, as imperfect and inconvenient as it is.
Take one small step towards the life you want.
Even if it’s ugly. Even if it’s slow.
Even if it’s just drinking a glass of water while muttering,
“Caroline made me do it.”
End Scene
So stop waiting.
Get moving.
Not for punishment.
Not for shame.
But because you finally realise...
You are worthy of the damn effort.
Now go.
Do the thing.
Even if it’s just the first, hilariously unimpressive, imperfect, beautiful step.
And then tomorrow?
Do it again.
… spontaneous applause as you gather momentum….