Diets don’t work

(And Yet Here We Are Again, Googling “How to Lose 5 Kilos in 3 Days”)

My clients—the wonderful, intelligent, resilient, done-with-this-BS women I work with—have tried everything.

Every. Bloody. Thing.
If it had a name, they tried it. If it had a book, they bought it. If it had a celebrity endorsement, they gave it a crack between the guilt and the kale.

They’ve restricted, measured, fasted, counted, chewed slowly, chewed quickly, cut carbs, cut fat, cut flavour.
They’ve drunk lemon water like it’s a religion. They’ve dry July-ed themselves straight into soggy Augusts. They’ve meal-prepped so hard they’ve run out of Tupperware and will to live.

And what do they have to show for it?

Crippling food guilt.
A body that still doesn’t feel like home.
And an inner monologue that sounds suspiciously like a bootcamp instructor who also hates joy.

They are hungry.
They are exhausted.
And they are so bloody tired of trying to “fix” themselves with plans that seem designed by a psychopath with a personal vendetta against bread.

They’ve spent years avoiding the foods they love.
Foods that used to bring joy now sit on the “naughty” shelf like edible sins.

They don't even keep them in the house anymore.
Except their brains didn’t get the memo. Because guess what?
You can throw the biscuits in the bin, but your mind will dig through the metaphorical garbage all night for them.

Which is why some of them find themselves bingeing.
In their cars.
In their bedrooms.
Hiding.

Because they’re not allowed to eat it...
But they still want it...
So they sneak it.
Because obviously, secrecy makes food less calorific.

They don’t want to live like this.
They don’t want to be those people who can’t trust themselves around snacks.
But they’re stuck.

And while the diets aren’t working, the weight is still climbing.

They’re terrified.
Terrified of what might happen next. Diabetes. Heart disease. An endless rotation of activewear that never actually gets sweaty.

But here’s the kicker:

Even the fear of a future health crisis isn’t enough to stop them.

And it’s not because they’re weak.
Or broken.
Or have some sort of rare motivational deficiency.

It’s because dieting doesn’t solve the actual problem.

They don’t want to think about food 24/7.
They don’t want every bite to come with a side of shame and an internal debate that sounds like a courtroom drama.

They just want to eat when they’re hungry.
Stop when they’re full.
Wear jeans without needing a small prayer and a hair tie.

They want to live their actual lives—ones filled with meaning and relationships and things that matter—instead of obsessing over whether oat milk counts as a cheat.

What they want—what YOU want—is food freedom.

Freedom from the rules.
Freedom from the ridiculous, unsustainable systems that make life feel like a game of emotional Jenga.
Freedom from the exhausting mental loop of what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat and did I ruin everything because I had a slice of pizza on a Wednesday.

And you know what? You’re absolutely right to want that.
Because the way we’re told to lose weight?

It’s not just hard.
It’s inhuman.

Dieting goes against your biology.
It tells your body: “Hey, cool it with the eating.”
And your body, like any good biological organism, hears: “Famine incoming. Lock it down. Panic. Eat everything in sight.”

Which is why the moment you even think about dieting, you suddenly want to eat three weeks’ worth of snacks.

It’s not a lack of willpower.
It’s evolution.
Your body is made to eat. Not to be shamed into submission by some fitspo influencer with abs and a ring light.

Diets don’t create peace with food. They create confusion.
They create fear.
They create the exact mental chaos you were trying to escape by starting them in the first place.

They’re someone else’s rules. For someone else’s body.
And they’re never going to work for you long-term.

Here’s the truth you don’t hear enough:
Weight loss is a side effect.

A by-product of consistent, caring habits that are aligned with your body, your mind, your lifestyle.

You don’t need to overhaul your entire existence, run marathons before breakfast or live off boiled chicken and kale to lose weight.

You need to understand your own brain.
The real work? It’s up here (points to head, ideally with flair).

Because most people aren’t scared of food itself.
They’re scared of what they think food will do to them.
They’re scared of what they believe it says about them.
They’re scared of losing control, of getting “fat,” of being judged, of failing again.

And who can blame them?

The modern food environment is rigged against you.
Your stress hormones mess with your hunger signals.
Ultra-processed foods are designed in labs to override your brain’s natural “enough” switch.

So yeah—it’s easy to feel like the enemy is food. Or yourself.

But it’s neither.

You’re not broken.
You’re just trapped in a system that keeps pointing the finger in the wrong direction.

The answer isn’t more control.
It’s more compassion.
Less fighting. More understanding.

Start by not dieting.
Then start caring for yourself like someone worth caring for.

Because when you actually care—
You sleep better.
You move because it feels good, not because you’re punishing yourself for eating half a muffin.
You feed your body food that fuels you, not food that fills a hole that isn’t hunger.

You don’t need a fancy program or another restrictive rulebook.
You just need consistent habits. Aligned with who you are.

Do that, regularly, with a little patience and a lot less perfectionism?

You will change.
Your body will reflect the care you're giving it.
And your brain will finally get a break from the 24/7 food guilt soap opera.

You don’t need to fight anymore.
You just need to think differently.

If you’re ready to ditch the rules, escape the mind games and finally live in the body you were meant to have—

Let’s talk.

I’d bloody love to help.