You Can’t Out-Diet a Dodgy Mindset

(The Bit Where We Talk About Brains, Not Broccoli)

Most people decide to lose weight the way they buy flat-pack furniture—boldly, impatiently and with absolutely no intention of reading the instructions.

They launch into it with gusto.

They download some shiny meal plan written by someone whose life’s greatest hardship is probably an avocado shortage.
They open a spreadsheet, colour-code some macros, maybe even get a fancy lunchbox with twelve compartments and a place to put your feelings.

Or, more realistically, they Google “low carb snacks” while chewing through a KitKat and wondering if the wafer technically counts as a grain.

Either way, they leap straight to the doing part.

“What should I eat?”
“How many calories?”
“Is sourdough the devil now?”

It feels productive. Practical. Adult-y. Like a step in the right direction.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth and I say this with love:

You can’t out-diet your beliefs.

You can’t fix your eating if you never stop to ask why it got broken in the first place.

Because—and I’m about to sound dangerously like a motivational speaker here—your brain runs the show. Not your meal prep containers. Not your willpower. And not Sandra from your Pilates class who lost 6 kilos by blending spinach with water and calling that a smoothie.

Your thoughts lead your actions. Always.
So if your brain’s full of outdated scripts, toxic sludge and the nutritional equivalent of dial-up internet…
Well, mate, no wonder you’re stuck.

Belief Soup (Now Gluten-Free!)

Let’s break this down.

If, deep down, you believe things like:

• “I’ve got no control around food.”

• “I’m just someone who eats when they’re stressed.”

• “If I eat carbs after 6pm I’ll explode or turn into a walrus or whatever TikTok said last week.”

Then you are dragging those beliefs like a bag of emotional bricks into every meal.

Even when you’re “being good.” Even when you’re white-knuckling your way through a party with nothing but mineral water and a prayer.

These thoughts don’t just sit quietly in the background like elevator music.
They run the whole bloody playlist.

Your brain is like a GPS.
And if the settings are stuffed—or stuck in ‘1997 Diet Trauma Mode’—you’ll keep ending up in the same dodgy carpark behind Guilt and Shame Street.

Even if you start fresh.
Even if you change plans.
Even if you eat like Gwyneth Paltrow with a halo on.

Because beliefs drive behaviour. And if you don’t change the beliefs, you just end up doing the same crap in a fancier outfit.

Diet Culture: The World’s Most Profitable Gaslighter

Diet culture never mentions this, of course.
No, no. That’d ruin the business model.

Instead, it tells you things like:

• “You just need to try harder.”

• “You need more motivation.”

• “Buy these fat-burning gummies and also maybe hate yourself just a smidge more.”

It skips the part where you actually examine what’s going on in your head.

You know, the part where you realise you’re not just craving chocolate—you’re craving a break.
You’re not just “bad with carbs”—you’re terrified of hunger because somewhere along the line, someone taught you that feeling hungry meant you were doing it “right.”

It never asks you to question the rulebook.
It just tells you to follow it harder.

Which would be fine…
If the rulebook wasn’t written by people with OCD, nutritional vendettas and unresolved issues with carbs.

Your Inner Critic: A Cranky Narrator in Your Head

Let’s talk about the voice inside your skull.

You know the one.

The voice that pipes up every time you eat bread and says,
“Well, you’ve ruined it now. Might as well order a family-sized pizza and start again Monday.”

Or the one that says,
“You’ll never stick to this. You never do.”

It’s like living with a judgy housemate who offers commentary on everything you put in your mouth. You go to eat a sandwich and she’s already chiming in: “Bit of a bold choice, don’t you think?”

Is it helpful? No.
Is it exhausting? Hugely.
Is it familiar? Sadly, yes.

But here’s the kicker:
That voice isn’t truth.
It’s just a loop. A well-practised tape that’s been playing since your first diet, your first weigh-in, your first moment of food-based shame.

And if you don’t stop to rewrite that tape?

Well, it’ll keep playing.
Under every decision. Behind every meal.
Ruining every moment where you could’ve just been enjoying your bloody dinner.

The Real Work (A.K.A. The Bit That’s Not Marketed Well)

The real work of weight loss—the sustainable, peaceful, emotionally-sane kind—starts inside.

It starts when you ask yourself:

• “What do I believe about food and where did that come from?”

• “What do I make it mean when I eat something ‘off plan’?”

• “Why do I panic when I feel hunger?”

It’s not glamorous. It does require focus and time and tuning in.
But it’s where the magic is.

When you clean out your mental cupboard—the one full of expired diet rules, body shame and that one time your Year 9 PE teacher called you “pudgey”—you create space.

Space to make choices on purpose.
To trust your body.
To eat like someone who actually likes themselves.

That’s what the so-called “inner work” really is.
It’s not woo-woo. It’s freedom.

So What Is Inner Work?

Good question.

It’s not chanting affirmations in the mirror until you believe that celery is your soulmate.

It’s stuff like:

• Learning how to sit with an emotion without needing to feed it

• Noticing the thoughts that come up when you eat and asking, “Is this mine… or something I inherited from Slimming World circa 2004?”

• Understanding that you’re allowed to feel tired, lonely, bored or frustrated—and you don’t have to numb that with food

It’s pausing before the snack and asking,
“What do I actually need right now?”

And sometimes the answer is still “the snack.” That’s fine. You’re human. But now you’re choosing—not reacting.

Inner work turns eating from a panic-driven, guilt-laced sport into… a human thing you do to nourish yourself and enjoy the experience of doing so.
Imagine that.

Rewiring the Brain: Less Drama, More Data

Here’s the nerdy bit.

Your brain is plastic. Not in a Barbie way—in a neuroplasticity way.

It rewires. It updates. It adapts.

So those old beliefs? The ones that say,
“You can’t be trusted around food,”
or
“You’ll always fail,”—they are not permanent.

You can teach your brain new things.
You just have to feed it differently.

Not just food-wise. Thought-wise. Because if you want different results, you need to run different software.

Final Thoughts (Before You Go Looking for a Snack)

Skipping the inner work is like building a house on quicksand.

Sure, it might look pretty for a while. But eventually it sinks. And then you blame the roof tiles, when really the foundation was stuffed all along.

The biggest mistake people make when trying to lose weight?
They skip the bit that matters.

They try to fix their body without fixing the beliefs that got them here.

But here’s the good news:

You can change your beliefs.
You can update your stories.
You can rewrite your relationship with food—and yourself.

And once you do?

Well, eating gets easier.
So does movement.
So does life.

You stop fighting yourself.
You start doing what you said you would.
And weirdly enough, you start enjoying the whole process more than you ever thought possible.

Because you’re no longer eating to fix yourself.

You’re eating to fuel yourself.

And that, my friend, is the real work.

Not a rulebook.
Not a detox.
Not a 28-day shred.

Just you.
Your brain.
And the chance to finally work together.