Why You Need To Learn How To Surf
(Urges edition. Not the beachy kind.)
Let’s talk about urges.
Not the sexy kind.
The kind that sneak up on you at 3pm when you’re not hungry but suddenly need banana bread like it holds the secrets to eternal peace.
Those little mental nudges that say:
“Go on... just one.”
“There’s pizza left.”
“You deserve it. You’ve had a day.”
And they show up fast. Loud. Convincing.
But you’re not actually hungry.
So what’s going on?
What Is an Urge, Anyway?
Let’s clear this up:
Hunger is your body saying,
“Fuel’s low, let’s eat soon.”
It’s calm. Steady. Sensible.
Like a librarian gently suggesting you refuel.
An urge, though?
That’s your brain running through the kitchen in a feather boa yelling,
“MAGNUM ICE CREAM OR DEATH!”
It’s not about physical need.
It’s about emotion. Habit. Dopamine.
Because your brain’s got one job: Keep you alive. And its strategy?
Avoid pain. Seek pleasure. Do so as fast and easily as possible.
And if it’s learned that food gives you a quick hit of relief or joy?
Boom. Instant urge every time life feels even slightly off.
Where Urges Come From
(Spoiler: you learned them. That’s good news.)
At some point, you gave your brain a job:
“Feeling sad? Here’s a muffin.”
“Overwhelmed? Try these chips.”
“Friday? Wine. Obviously.”
And your brain, ever efficient, said,
“Oh, I see! THIS = FOOD. Noted.”
It built a shortcut.
A reflex.
A neural groove.
Now, when anything even vaguely resembling stress, boredom, celebration or social awkwardness happens...
Ding! The brain pops up like an overeager intern shouting,
“Ice cream? Chips? Chocolate? We’ve got OPTIONS!”
It’s not malfunctioning.
It’s doing exactly what you taught it.
But Here’s What No One Tells You:
You don’t need to fight urges.
Or fix them.
Or distract yourself with sock drawers or herbal tea.
You just need to see them for what they are.
They’re not orders.
They’re not truth.
They’re not emergencies.
They’re just thoughts.
Habitual little whispers.
Mental weather.
And your job isn’t to obey them.
Your job is to surf them.
The Four Ways People Handle Urges (Guess which one actually works?)
React
Eat the thing.
Feel briefly better.
Then annoyed.
Then back to square one.Resist
Tense up. Grit your teeth.
Tell yourself you can’t have it.
Feel deprived. Probably cave later.Distract
Scroll. Clean. Rearrange your cutlery drawer.
It works sometimes. But it’s a detour, not a strategy.Observe ← This is the one.
This is the moment you pause.
You name it.
You notice it.
You let it rise and fall—without acting on it.
It’s mindfulness, but not the incense-and-meditation kind.
It’s the “Huh, that’s interesting” kind.
“I want chocolate. Not hungry. Just edgy.”
“Oh hello, dopamine craving. You again?”
“Nothing’s gone wrong. This is just a wave.”
No need to fix it. Just ride it.
Why This Works
Because urges are temporary.
Always.
Even the big ones.
They come.
They peak.
They pass.
And every time you let one pass without jumping in?
You rewire the old loop.
You build new brain pathways.
You remind yourself:
“I don’t need to answer every knock at the door.”
Especially the ones trying to sell you cookies when you’re not even hungry.
The Goal Isn’t No Urges. It’s No Fear of Them.
You don’t need to eliminate urges to feel free.
You just need to stop believing them.
Stop following them around like a toddler with glitter glue.
Stop turning every craving into a crisis.
They’re not bad.
They’re not dangerous.
They’re just brain habits playing dress-up.
The real freedom comes when you can watch them show up, nod politely and not follow their lead.
Final Thought (Surf’s Up)
Next time that urgent snack voice shows up?
Don’t panic.
Don’t fight.
Just notice.
“This is a craving.”
“It’s uncomfortable, not dangerous.”
“I can sit with this.”
You don’t need to wrestle your urges.
You just need to stay present long enough to watch them settle.
Because they always do.
And in that pause—
That simple moment of awareness—
You become the kind of person who doesn’t eat out of habit...
You become someone who chooses.
Now that’s real power.
And an Urge Surfing App to help