Why You Need To Learn How To Surf

Let’s talk urges. Not the sexy kind, sorry. This isn’t that kind of blog.
This is about those pesky, persistent, pop-up-window-on-your-brain urges that say things like:

“Ooh! There’s banana bread in the break room!”
“Pizza! Now, now, NOW!”
“We need a Magnum because... feelings.”

And it’s not even mealtime. Your stomach isn’t rumbling. No hunger pangs.
But your brain is practically doing jazz hands about a cheeseburger.

So what the hell is going on?

WHAT IS AN URGE?

An urge is not hunger.
Let’s get that straight like a dad at a BBQ explaining how to reverse a trailer.

Hunger is your body’s calm, slightly awkward friend who gently taps your shoulder and says,

“Hey, just letting you know... we could do with a bit of nourishment soon.”

An urge, on the other hand, is a loud-mouthed mate who bursts in uninvited yelling,

“CHOCOLATE TIME! BRING OUT THE BISCUITS!”
And when you politely say, “We just ate,” it flips the emotional table and starts pitching tantrums in your prefrontal cortex.

Urges aren’t rational. They’re not responding to biological need.
They’re responding to emotional cues, habitual triggers and dopamine—that sweet, sweet brain juice that goes off like a confetti cannon when you eat something pleasurable.

And because your brain’s main goal is survival with a side of fun, it remembers what gave it that sweet high.
It logs the moment, builds a shortcut and starts sending you push notifications every time there’s even a whiff of that situation again.

Sad? Eat.
Tired? Eat.
Bored? Eat.
Happy? Eat.
Just saw a pigeon and felt weirdly nostalgic? EAT.

Welcome to the dopamine association game. It’s a bloody mess.

Urges: Why You Can’t Just “Wait It Out” Without Knowing This First

You’ve probably heard the advice: “Just ride the wave. Wait it out. Urges pass.”

And yes, they do. Eventually.
Like a slow bus in peak hour or your friend’s story about a dream they had.
But trying to white-knuckle your way through it with sheer willpower is like trying to do your taxes in a nightclub. Technically possible but not recommended.

Here’s the kicker:
If you don’t understand what’s driving the urge, you’ll spend your life constantly dodging them, managing them or giving in to them and wondering why you feel like crap after.

It’s not just about “waiting it out.”
It’s about watching it.
Understanding it.
Calling it out like a dodgy magician at a kids' party.

So, let’s go backstage and look at how these urges actually form.

Where Do Urges Come From? (The Unsexy Origins)

You did it.

Yep. You created the urge. Gold star for neural wiring.

And this is excellent news, because if your brain wired it in, you can help wire it out.

At some point, your brain noticed that food = feeling better.
Cue the dopamine.

So now, anytime you feel a bit off—or even just see a sofa—you get an urge.
It’s Pavlov’s dog, except the bell is your boss’s voice and the drool is you dreaming of M&M’s.

It’s repetition that builds these associations.
You’ve trained your brain like a border collie on Red Bull: every time X happens, eat Y.

Tired? Eat toast.
Lonely? Ice cream.
Friday? Wine and chips.
Saturday? Same.
Sunday? Recovery croissants.

The urge isn’t a glitch. It’s a pattern.
And the brain, ever efficient, loves a shortcut.

So when it detects even the whiff of a past situation, it doesn’t stop to ask,

“Wait… are we even hungry?”
Nope. It goes full toddler:
“I WANT IT AND I WANT IT NOW.”

But here’s where it gets juicy.

If you’re the one who taught your brain these associations, you can also be the one who lovingly un-teaches them.

Not with shame.
Not with starvation.
Not with post-it notes that say “DO YOU REALLY NEED THIS?” stuck to your fridge.

But with awareness. With curiosity. And with a whole lot of compassion.

So What Do You Actually Do When The Urge Strikes?

You’ve basically got four options when that mental itch hits:

1. React

Eat the thing. Feed the habit. Strengthen the neural groove.
Experience temporary joy.
Then feel regret as quickly as you chewed through that cupcake.

This is the brain’s equivalent of saying,

“Eh, screw it” and handing over the wheel to a raccoon with a caffeine addiction.

2. Resist

Clench your fists. Fight the thought. Wrestle your own brain like it’s a caffeinated possum in a sack.
Spoiler: this is exhausting. And often ends in a binge.

Resisting sounds noble, but when done with gritted teeth and guilt, it just wires in more emotional drama around food.

3. Distract

Vacuum the lounge. Reorganise your socks by colour.
Scroll Instagram. Paint your fence. Make a cup of herbal tea.
Sure, it works sometimes. But swapping one dopamine hit for another doesn’t really deal with the urge.

4. Observe

Ooooh. Welcome to mindfulness, baby.

You get curious. You lean in.

Notice the sensation in your body.
Hear the thoughts:

“But it’s free cake!”
“But it’s Friday!”
“But Sally’s having one!”

Watch the brain try all its favourite lines.
And instead of fighting it or feeding it, you just sit with it.
Like a fart in a lift. Unpleasant, but temporary.

The magic of observation is this:
The moment you see the urge as a thought, not a truth, you deflate its power.
You’re no longer in the washing machine. You’re watching the spin cycle from the outside.

Urges Aren’t The Enemy. Your Reaction Is The Real Power Move.

Here’s the thing: Urges aren’t a sign that something’s wrong.
They’re a sign that something’s wired in.

They’re your brain’s adorable (and slightly dramatic) attempt to get back to comfort.

The goal isn’t to eliminate urges forever.
It’s to stop fearing them.
To stop reacting on autopilot.
To stop making them mean something about you.

You’re not broken because you want cake at 9:42am.

You’re just a human with a brain that relies on dopamine.

The moment you stop trying to suppress, resist or moralise every urge and start getting curious instead—you take your power back.

And that, my friend, is the unsexy truth that leads to actual freedom.

No drama.
No guilt.
No food police sirens.

Just you, showing up with awareness, kindness and maybe a witty internal monologue to boot.

You’ve got this.
And if you don’t today—well, there’s always tomorrow.

And an Urge Surfing App to help