When Sitting Down is Actually Bloody Brilliant For You
Ah, sitting.
That passive little posture we’ve villainised to death. “Sitting is the new smoking!” they cry, clutching their kale smoothies like leafy crucifixes against the demon chair.
Now look—I get it. We do sit a lot. The average desk jockey clocks a staggering 15 hours of glorious butt-to-chair contact daily. That’s practically a career in stillness. And considering we’re also supposed to sleep for eight hours (because… health), that leaves a measly one hour in the day to do literally anything else with your limbs. Walk. Stretch. Pee. Panic-buy spirulina. Whatever.
So yes, sedentary life has consequences. Your metabolism gets sluggish, your heart throws a tantrum and your mood flattens out like your arse. It’s not great.
BUT.
And this is a gorgeously ironic, deliciously overlooked “but”…
There’s one time when sitting down isn’t a threat to your longevity or your ability to fit into last summer’s jeans. One glorious, under-celebrated moment when sitting down is not just acceptable but highly recommended—even downright good for you.
And that, dear reader, is when you’re eating.
Yes. Sit your bum down. Properly. Like a civilised creature. Because your digestive system will thank you.
Let me explain.
We live in a culture of multitasking madness. We don’t just eat—we eat and.
Eat and walk.
Eat and work.
Eat and scroll.
Eat and respond to passive-aggressive emails from Kareena in accounts.
Eat and chase toddlers.
Eat and argue with imaginary people on the internet.
We treat meals like an inconvenience we have to fit in between the “important stuff”—as though feeding ourselves is some side hustle we do on autopilot while real life happens elsewhere.
But here’s the kicker: when you eat in this distracted, half-conscious, cortisol-fuelled state, your body doesn’t go, “Oh! Lovely, time to digest now.” Nope.
Your body, wise old thing that it is, goes, “WE’RE STRESSED! There’s clearly a lion, or a deadline or a drama unfolding in the group chat. Shut down digestion. Divert blood to the muscles. Prepare for battle.”
Meanwhile, your stomach acid politely retracts like a shy Victorian lady. Your digestive enzymes take the day off. Your intestines sort of… forget what they’re doing. And you? You end up bloated, uncomfortable and wondering if sourdough is secretly out to destroy you.
Fun fact: almost 1 in 3 people now report IBS symptoms. And no, that’s not always because of gluten or dairy or FODMAPs or whatever dietary scapegoat is trending this week. Often, it’s because we’re eating in a bloody panic. Constantly.
IBS, by the way, stands for Irritable Bowel Syndrome. And it’s exactly what it sounds like: your gut, being a moody little drama queen, gets irritated and refuses to behave. Not because anything’s structurally wrong. Not because there’s inflammation or ulcers or poltergeists in your colon. But because it’s functional—it’s all in the how you eat, not just the what.
So here’s the sciencey bit.
Your body has two major modes:
Sympathetic nervous system = fight or flight, stressy, email-checking, traffic-swearing mode.
Parasympathetic nervous system = rest, digest, chill-the-fuck-out mode.
Guess which one you need to be in to digest food properly?
Spoiler: It’s the second one.
When you’re in parasympathetic dominance, your body says, “Ahhhh, brilliant! Let’s get the stomach acid flowing! Let’s make those enzymes! Let’s assimilate those nutrients like a boss!”
It’s digestion’s golden hour.
So here’s what you do.
When you’re hungry—and I mean actually hungry, not just emotionally bored or procrastinating—STOP.
Put the phone down.
Close the laptop.
Back away from the inbox.
Breathe.
Grab a plate. Put your food on the plate (you’d be amazed how many people eat straight from the pan like hungry raccoons). Get a fork. A spoon. Chopsticks. Whatever your weapon of choice.
And for the love of your microbiome—sit. The hell. Down.
Take a moment.
Take a few breaths.
Give your brain the memo that food is coming and it’s safe to relax.
Then eat. Slowly. Mindfully. Like a human being who deserves pleasure and nourishment and at least one goddamn uninterrupted moment in their day.
Notice the textures. The flavours. The satisfaction.
Because that’s how you train your body to know when it’s full. That’s how you avoid the post-lunch regret-waddle. That’s how you actually enjoy food again.
Final Thoughts (With Raised Eyebrow)
No, sitting is not the new smoking. Smoking is the new smoking.
But sitting while eating? That’s not lazy. That’s biological wisdom. It’s self-respect. It’s science. And it’s probably one of the simplest, cheapest and most effective things you can do for your digestion, your metabolism and your general joie de vivre.
So go on. Be a rebel. Sit down when you eat.
Because sometimes, stillness isn’t the enemy.
Sometimes, stillness is the invitation.
To taste. To nourish. To pause.
And if that’s not good for you, I don’t know what is.
Photo by Jonathan Sanchez on Unsplash