What Do I Do When I Want to Eat But I’m Not Hungry?
Ah yes. The million-dollar question.
“What should I do when I want to eat but I’m not actually hungry?”
Drum roll, please…
Cymbals crash. Orchestra swells. Spotlight hits.
Don’t eat.
Pause for dramatic effect.
Cue: awkward silence. Cue: eye-roll from the back row. Cue: internal scream.
I know. I know.
It’s the most unhelpfully obvious answer in the universe. Right up there with “Just be yourself” and “Try yoga.”
But hang on. Before you write me off as a smug, celery-wielding motivational meme, let’s actually unpack it.
If you’re not hungry… but you want to eat…
That desire…It’s got nothing to do with food.
Which is weird. Because the fridge is right there. And the Tim Tams are singing your name in four-part harmony.
But this is the part where things get interesting.
Because if it’s not your stomach talking—then who is it?
That desire? That itch? That urge to nibble your way through your emotions like an over-caffeinated squirrel?
That’s your brain. Your heart. Your stress. Your loneliness. Your “just had a crap day and need something to look forward to” self.
And here's the kicker:
If you eat in that moment—poof—the message gets lost.
Whatever your body or brain was trying to tell you? Gone.
Blurred out under a layer of salt, sugar and distraction.
Food doesn’t fix feelings.
It just puts a doona over them and turns the volume down.
When you eat without hunger, you’re not fuelling your body—you’re fleeing your feelings.
You're dodging discomfort.
You're avoiding that prickly little voice inside that says, “Hey, something’s not right,” by cramming your mouth so full that voice can’t get a word in.
But here’s what I know.
Here’s what I’ve lived.
And here’s what I see, every day, with the brilliant women I work with:
If you don’t eat when you’re not hungry—
If you sit with the feeling instead of stuffing it down—
You get the chance to actually feel it.
And (plot twist!) it won’t kill you.
You’ll realise that beneath the urge is a feeling. And beneath that is a thought.
A thought you probably didn’t even know was there.
A sneaky little mental gremlin like:
“I’m struggling to cope.”
“I feel like I’m failing.”
“This is too much.”
Or the classic, “This day is garbage and I deserve chips.”
But when you sit with that thought—like, really look it in the eye—you realise something magical:
It’s not truth.
It’s just a sentence your brain offered up.
And if your brain made it… your brain can change it.
That’s how it works.
Not with willpower, discipline or trying harder.
With awareness.
So yes, the next time you find yourself standing in front of the pantry, not hungry but emotionally itchy and the chocolate’s whispering sweet nothings…
Pause.
Ask:
What am I really hungry for?
Then listen.
Really listen.
Because that’s where the magic is.
Not in the snack.
But in the space between the urge and the action.
That’s where you meet you.
And guess what happens when you get better at that?
Those urges get quieter.
They stop popping up every five minutes like a needy ex. Because you’ve given yourself what you actually needed.
A rest. A breather. Permission to pause. To say no. To delegate your to-do list. To scream, if you need to.
Before you know it, a whole day—a whole week, even—goes by and you haven’t reached for food when you didn’t need it.
Not because you’re being “good.”
But because the desire simply didn’t show up.
That’s the goal.
Not white-knuckling your way through cravings.
Not constantly battling the biscuit tin.
But not needing it in the first place.
Because your happiness isn’t found at the bottom of a bag of crisps.
It’s in knowing that you have the power to choose something different.
And the very worst thing that can happen when you don’t eat?
A feeling.
Just a feeling.
Feel it.
Feel it all the way through.
To the other side.
That’s where you are.
And trust me—you are so much better than any food. xx