How Being “Nice” Can Lead to F* It Eating

Did you grow up drowning in a tidal wave of “be nice”?

You know, that fine art of being the forever-pleasant, eternally agreeable human who never ruffles feathers, never rocks the boat and definitely never says what they really think.

If you were a little girl, chances are the message was blasted into your brain with all the subtlety of a foghorn at 3am.

Speak up? Nah, that’s too much noise.
Express strong opinions? Whoa, easy there, tiger.
Show anger or frustration? Perish the thought! That’s definitely not ladylike.

Back in the day—actually, for millennia—this was the unspoken law: little boys could stomp around, be bold, cheeky, loud and damn it, annoying as hell. Meanwhile, little girls were to be sweet, silent and as agreeable as a cucumber sandwich at high tea.

Fast-forward to today and here we are: a generation of women entering menopause with a lifetime of bottled-up opinions, swallowed frustrations and voices kept on mute like a badly tuned radio. And guess what? That silence? It’s ready to erupt into a full-blown ROAR.

Except, after years of being “nice,” a lot of us have forgotten how to roar without feeling like we’re crashing a wedding in a glitter bomb and a megaphone.

So instead… we eat.

Why Being “Nice” Turns Into F* It Eating

Here’s the brutal truth: when you’re taught to keep quiet about your feelings and your needs, it doesn’t mean those feelings disappear. Oh no. They simmer under the surface like a tea kettle about to blow.

And what’s the socially acceptable way to quiet that simmering? Food. The universal peacemaker, the comfort blanket, the sneaky mute button on the chaos inside.

After a day spent nodding, smiling, swallowing your truth and tiptoeing around everyone else’s feelings, it’s no wonder you find yourself standing in front of the pantry, whispering:

“Fuck it. I deserve this.”

Why This Peaks During Menopause

Menopause is like your body’s version of a very dramatic soap opera—hormones are erratic, emotions are overflowing and suddenly, decades of caretaking others have you staring in the mirror asking:

“Hang on… what about me?”

The urge to finally speak up, set boundaries and claim your own space grows stronger by the day. But the lifetime of “nice girl” conditioning means it feels about as natural as tap dancing on a bed of Lego.

So instead of raising your voice and rocking the boat, you do what you know—you eat. Because food doesn’t argue back, doesn’t challenge your right to be heard and never tells you to pipe down.

How to Stop Silencing Yourself With Food

1. Name the Feelings Behind the Food
   Next time you’re hovering over the cookie jar with zero hunger but full-on “fuck it” mode, pause. Ask yourself: what am I really feeling?
   Frustration? Overwhelm? The desperate need to be seen? Naming that feeling is the first step to kicking it out of your pantry and out of your life.

2. Practice Speaking Your Truth
   Start small. Say no to the thing you don’t want to do. Share your opinion—even if it’s about what rubbish show to watch on TV. It’ll feel weird and bossy at first, but guess what? You’re practising not being a doormat. Each brave little truth grows your roar.

3. Be “Nice” to Yourself—For Real
   All that kindness you gave to everyone else? It’s time to flip the script. Being nice to yourself doesn’t mean being quiet. It means setting boundaries, owning your feelings and saying, “Nope, today I need rest.”

   Being kind to yourself is the ultimate rebellion against the “nice girl” rules.

Finding Your Roar

Menopause is no time to keep playing the “nice” game at the expense of your sanity and your waistline.

It’s time to find your voice, honour your needs and roar like the glorious woman you are—whether that roar is bold, sassy, graceful or just beautifully unapologetic.

And here’s the kicker: when you stop silencing yourself and start listening to what you really need, food stops being a stand-in therapist, a distraction, a salve for the unsaid.

Food becomes… just food.

So go on, unlearn those “nice girl” rules. Take up the space you deserve. Because, trust me, the world is desperate for your roar.

Whether it’s a whisper, a growl or a full-on opera, it’s time you let it out. 🌟