You Don't Have a Weight Problem

Yes, you did read that right. And I can guess what you're thinking.

You're fairly sure you do have a weight problem. The evidence is everywhere. The jeans that won't do up. The number on the scale that's clearly too high. The photo you couldn't believe was you. Years of trying to fix it, trying all the things, and ending up going in circles.

Here's the thing. You don't have a weight problem.

I'm not saying you shouldn't lose weight if that's what you want. I'm saying your weight was never the actual problem, and treating it as the problem is a big part of why nothing has worked.

Your weight is an outcome. It's the result of how you behave and your biology.

So your weight isn't the issue. It's just the outcome you've decided is unacceptable. It might genuinely be an issue for you, but it isn't the issue.

So if you do want to change it, where do you start?

You start by noticing how you interact with food day to day. The way you think and feel when you're deciding what to eat, what you actually do, and how hard you come down on yourself afterwards.

Because what I see in my clients is that every failed attempt to change how they eat makes their relationship with food a little harder. They lose a bit more trust in themselves around food, and the worry about what and how to eat gets loud enough to drown out their own body.

You have signals that tell you when you're hungry and when you've had enough. You were born with them. But they're hard to hear over the counting, the rules, and the anxiety about getting it wrong. So you stop trusting your body and reach for another plan to tell you what to do instead.

That's the trap. The more tightly you try to control your eating, the more out of control you feel. The controlling is what's creating the chaos.

Where this leaves you

If you've spent years believing you have a weight problem, this might land as a relief or it might be unsettling or a bit of both. But look at what it means. You haven't been failing at something you think everyone else finds easy.

You've been trying to solve the wrong problem.

It was never your weight. The thing worth seeing is where your whole experience of life comes from, that it's coming from thought, moment to moment, and not from the food or the stressful job or the argument with someone you love. And when you see that - really see that - the unwanted habits tend to fall away on their own.

You don't have a weight problem. You never did.